PANDEMIC PORTRAITS
IN THE ROLLING MOUNTAIN HIGHLANDS OF THE BERKSHIRES, 13 WOMEN OPENED THEIR DOORS TO PHOTOGRAPHER JOHN DOLAN. IN LARGE-FORMAT PHOTOGRAPHS, HE CAPTURED THEM AT HOME AND OUTSIDE, BARE-FACED, AND ALMOST ALWAYS ALONE. HERE, THE WOMEN SHARE THEIR UNFILTERED THOUGHTS ON AGING, INSECURITIES, AND THE EVOLUTION OF SELF-LOVE.
PEGGY
“Self-confidence means self-acceptance. Self- acceptance makes me feel beautiful . . . and laughing really hard and doing something that is out of my comfort zone. My 94-and-a-half-year-old mother had her hip replaced two days ago. After one night in the hospital she was home bossing us around. That’s one kind of aging . . . determination, fortitude, and stretching for a half hour every day for 50 years. I think grace and wisdom are the two things I’m going for.”
MARY
“I am the daughter of a feminist and so my journey to feminism was initially given. In the mid ’60s my two sisters and I had the incredible fortune of being protected from not only the patriarchal description of women, through her refusal to participate, but also the stereotypes of women on the pedestal of Hollywood. I feel we have reached a crisis in our perception of age. We have a tendency to believe physical aging needs to be corrected or fixed, otherwise we cannot be accepted.”
OLIVIA
“I hope to age in a way that is true to who I am
and emblematic of the life I live and will have lived. Right now this means that I take care of myself, but not neurotically. I lead a generally active and healthy life because it makes me happy, and I also do things that I know will age me physically, but I don’t fret. The thought of a life lacking in spontaneity and occasional misbehavior is much less attractive to me than an extra wrinkle or two.”
BEA
“I absolutely consider myself to be a feminist and maybe even a radical one. I see immense beauty in raw authenticity and I believe that it is the lens of feminism that allows beauty to take on innumerable forms. It was in the midst of Covid that I decided to shave my head, something I’d wanted to do for a long time and it finally felt like the perfect opportunity, not because I wouldn’t be seeing many people, but rather because it was a chance for me to step into myself more deeply and find some autonomy.”
ADDIE
“I’ve never really had a beauty routine. I mean, the first time I actually wore makeup was on a job…last year…at 20 years old. The only routine it affected would have to be my hair. I’m a pain in the ass when it comes to getting my haircut at the barbershop every other week. I never liked having longer hair. It brought my confidence down because I would feel ‘shaggy,’ but Covid changed my mind and now I’m actually considering growing it out!”
SUE
“My spirit makes me feel beautiful. The joy and peace and hope that I feel and want to share, everyday. I think health is the trick to aging. I keep my mind active and I dance to keep my body moving.”
MELISSA
“I basically am just going with the flow. I am embracing my grays and my age spots as they come. I’m a low maintenance sort of person, so the hair- coloring road is something that I haven’t gone down, because it seems like just another thing I have to keep up on. I’d rather use that time to do the things I enjoy. I can’t fight aging, but my only consistent thing I do is wear SPF to reduce sun damage. I’ve always been a skincare person more than a makeup person.”
LIBBY
“What a wild and beautiful gift to age. Honestly it is a privilege to wake up every morning. I went gray very early in life and the prospect of having my hair dyed every few weeks felt like a lot of time and money spent focused on my hair. At my core I am a tomboy and that focus on hair/self felt out of alignment with who I was. I preferred to spend the time/ money outdoors and on adventures. My gray hair isn’t a statement—it is a reflection of what I value and who I am.”
ATHINA
“My philosophy on aging is the less you stress, the less you feel old in your heart and physically look. When you take care of yourself properly and have self-love, aging doesn’t come on so harshly, I believe.”
ESME & ELIZABETH
Esme (left): “My mother’s influence is present more than I have realized in the way I perceive myself. Our relationship is very strong and her opinion is one of great value to me. A lot of the time—though I have been getting better about this—when I see someone ‘perfect’ who fits society’s standards, that affects my confidence negatively. However, recently I have worked hard on my insecurities and self-love. Now when I see these people I simply think, ‘They are so pretty and confident!,’ and not anything about myself.”
Elizabeth (right): “What informs my confidence has changed over time. Now as a more mature person my confidence comes from how I think of myself, not what others think of me. When I was pregnant (twice), I felt so beautiful and powerful. It felt amazing and bizarre at the same time. Also, seeing myself reflected in my three children’s eyes makes me feel beautiful. My daughter and I share our ideas of beauty a lot through photo sharing, conversation, and playing around at home.”
RAVEN
“Throughout the pandemic, my beauty routine has become more and more relaxed and spontaneous. I think that by spending more time by myself, I have begun to feel more confident in my own perception of beauty and less pressure to conform to others’ opinions. Needless to say, this new attitude has led to some very vibrant eyeshadow and bold eyeliner choices for grocery store trips, because why not?”
CYNTHIA
“An intensely fruitful day painting, where I can access my true self makes me feel like a goddess, as does being loved by my husband. If I’m not doing my work emotionally (meditating) and exercising and painting someone can look at me sideways and I crumble. I am as strong as I am fragile, I sometimes feel.”